OPINION
Parenting is a huge task requiring much knowledge before going into it. From afar, it appears to be a seamless journey, but on taking a closer look, it is not. Only people desperate to make an impact would faithfully go through the rigors of it.
Parenting can be defined as taking up the responsibility of catering to a child. Birthing a child doesn't automatically make you a parent, but your willingness to take up your responsibilities for that child makes you one.
In Africa, especially in Nigeria, it is evident that many parents do not know what parenting entails. The best they can give their children are food, clothes, and shelter, but it's much more than that.
So many false beliefs and ideologies about parenting have taken over the minds of African parents so much that they find it difficult to do otherwise. It hurts so much that parents do not realize that parenting a child goes beyond meeting their needs.
Likewise, It's more like knowing how to properly discipline a child without going overboard. When an African parent disciplines a child, it sometimes looks like torture.
Beating with a cane without going to the extreme on this side of the world is pretty much acceptable, but using rods, slippers, brooms, spoons, or any object you can lay your hands on shouldn't be taken lightly.
Children are very observant and retain images in their brains longer than adults. You unintentionally teach your child to be violent and unnecessarily hot-tempered. If care is not taken, they see it as normal and acceptable.
Discipline is essential in training a child to become a responsible adult, but it must be done with moderation. Parenting is not being verbally abusive. Raining curses and insults on a child is very common in western Nigeria. It is a ruthless way to correct a child. So as you know, it only demoralizes the child and ruins their self-esteem.
Children need to hear sweet and assuring phrases like, ' I love you, ' I trust you, and 'I am proud of you,' but I'm sorry to say that it is far-fetched here. Most African parents are very inexpressive about how much they care for their children.
Children need love, care, and attention; they are only assured of these three things when they see and feel them.
As much as demands can't be placed on people regarding how best to parent a child, every future parent should be determined to break the cycle and do things differently.
Parenting is respecting your child's dreams and aspirations (not in the negative). It is not imposing your hopes and dreams on your children. It is not their responsibility to live their parents' unfulfilled dreams. Children who are victims don't realize they can do bigger and greater things. They neglect and bury their dreams to make their parents proud of them and kill their identity.
The African idea of parenting has been tested and is still being tested, and it's safe to say that it can't be fully trusted. It has its disadvantages. Every day, new parents emerge, but not new ideas of parenting. Many do not want to admit that they know nothing about it and don't want to acquire the necessary knowledge.
I'm not yet one, but I read in a book and without quoting that you should be to your children all that your parents never were to you. If your parents never showed you how much they loved you, then show your children how much you do. If they were never proud of you, be proud of your children and never hide it.
BABAWALE OLUWAFUNMITO
300L
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